Can I really do this?
After seventeen years of working in my auto transport business from home, I had to face reality. I had allowed myself to gain more than fifty pounds. I do not know about you, but the weight somehow just appears on my body overnight. By the end of the year, another ten or twelve pounds had packed onto my butt, midriff, and thighs.
I know, I can hear you laughing…come on you pack them on too, be honest with yourself. It seems the older I get it is easier to justify why I am on the heavy side. Gosh, my mom and grandma were heavy I guess being overweight is just in my genes. After all, my brother and sisters are all overweight, why should I think I am any different.
When I shop at the local Wal-Mart I see lots of larger men and women, I am not so bad off. Why do we justify what we are what we look like or feel like? Have you ever done that? Come on; tell the truth, have you? Well, one day I wondered if I were really overweight compared to what the doctor’s weight chart says.
That was my defining moment, the moment of truth! Crap, I was not overweight I am obese! Obese, that’s a nasty word, isn’t it. The fact of the matter is for my height, frame, and weight, yes, I am obese I am not overweight. Now I got depressed. Every time I look at the pictures of me visiting with my grand-babies and their other grandma, I am the “chunky” one, she is the slim one. I do not want the kids to remember me for being the “chunky” one.
Then, I remembered something else…my grandmas were – one tall and thin and one short and “chunky”. No! History was going to repeat itself. Faced with the reality, did I want to be the fat grandma or did I want to do something about it? Did I want to live a long, healthy life or cut it short to satisfy my never-ending craving for spaghetti, lasagna, and French bread?
I cannot afford it
When I was finally ready to face the music, I was in Chicago at a business meeting. One of my fellow students shared some interesting information with me about blood sugar and stress. She explained how it affects our body’s ability to gain and lose weight.
Renee told me that with my schedule in the auto transport office the plan of “grab and go” meals would work perfectly. It sounded great, but I really could not afford it – so I said. The reality was that I was scared. I had tried so many other diet pills, diet plans, shakes, and foods that I did not want to spend another dime on something that was not going to work for me.
Since my kids left home, I did not spend a whole lot on food and what we did buy was, okay I will admit it…junk. Foods that really did not count as food, you know Doritos, granola bars, cold cereal, many crackers, different types of bread, and more. These were foods that I grew up eating. Foods that families buy to fill little stomachs that they cannot afford to feed properly.
Then, Renee helped me to see that part of my problem was a mindset issue. Food was a comfort to me, it made me feel safe to fall back on what I knew, what I grew up with. She also helped me to see that if I wanted to lose weight permanently I would need to change. Oh, that awful word…change.
Together we can do it
Like most new things I was scared to death, again I didn’t want to fail this time around. Somehow I felt safe, secure in knowing that my friend would not let me down. I was the one that did not need to let me down this time.
She assured me that together we could use this program of “grab and go” meals to burn off this fat. I was excited and scared all wrapped up in one, but I got started.
When my “grab and go” meals arrived I called her. She went over each meal and explained how I was to eat, every two to three hours. That was the scary part for me, what if I got busy in the office. No excuses, she told me to set a timer and I did.
I thought I would be hungry, another excuse. Hmmm, how could eating make me hungry? I did not eat before that was my problem and how I had gained weight. I was using my auto transport business schedule as an excuse, a lame one at that.
At the end of my first week, it was time to weigh myself, something I never did because I did not want to know what I weighed, period. Very nervously, I stepped on the scales.
I had cried the week before when I actually saw with my own two eyes what I weighed. That number staring back at me was the biggest number I had ever seen in my life. Never before had I weighed so much. How could my husband love such a fat wife?
The scale never lies, unlike me. Now though I anxiously looked down as the red needle came to a halt. Oh my, I had lost four pounds! In all my dieting years never before had, I had a loss like that. Usually, it was one or two pounds max. My clothes fit nicely now instead of showing rolls of flesh poured into the too-tight jeans and tee shirts.
This was just the beginning of my weight loss journey. Today, as I sit here in the office I just finished one of my “grab and go” snacks. We are going to the Farmers Market to buy some fresh tomatoes, Romaine lettuce, cucumbers, and peppers. Maybe we will find other green vegetables to go with my lean meat for dinner tonight. Should we fix shrimp, chicken, or a steak? Hmmm, let’s wait and see what I feel like when I get home.
Until next time, here is something for you to think about. When is the last time you were honest with yourself? Have you noticed you are overweight or are you kidding yourself as I did myself?
Remember, I was obese, not overweight. Stop kidding yourself. Address the issue head-on; take charge of your thoughts and behaviors. Ask for help. I did because together we can lose those unwanted pounds even if we work in an auto transport office.